The Dreaded Conversation
6This morning, I had the conversation with my youngest son that I’ve been hoping I would not have for several more years. Below is an actual transcript of the conversation as it is now forever burned into my memory.
William: “Ummmm, Dad. I need to ask you something.”
Me: “Oh yeah? What’s up?”
William: “Well, we were talking about some stuff at school and I just didn’t know what to say.”
Me: “What do you mean? Who were you talking to?”
William: “My friends… at lunch…”
Me: “Yeah, and what were you talking about?” (now covered in a fine sheen of shvitz)
William: “Well… we were talking about grown up stuff… and…”
Me: (dying slowly while pretending to still be sorta watching Mike & Mike on ESPN2)
William: “... and… well… let me ask you something first…”
Me: “Okay.”
William: “Dad, do you have a job?”
Me: “Yeah, baby, I have a job. That’s what I do when I go to work.”
William: “Okay. Right. Okay. So… ummm… what’s your job?”
Me: “Oh… my job? Well… let’s see… I… uhhh…” (now in full panic - how do you explain IR to a 6-year old?!!?)
I think I mumbled something about helping companies tell their stories to people and help them answer questions when people have questions for them. I may have even mentioned something about intangible assets. Whatever I said, it felt lame but he let me off the hook as he came right back with “Yeah, I thought so. I could do that too when I’m a grown up. Hey Dad, can I still be a fireman and do what you do too?”
Me: “Of course, baby. You can be anything you want - and I know you’ll be great at doing it!”
So I gotta know - how have you explained what investor relations to your kids?
